I just saw a hot homeless man
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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