I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
