what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
