well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
