Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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