i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
