Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
