So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bring money and cleavage
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think i got beer on your cat.
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