Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
