Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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