I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
