This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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