I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Watching her eat just hurts me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
