If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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