What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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