you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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