So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
