woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
