Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
