Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
