Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
