He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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