well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
