My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
