I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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