Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
