My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
