omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
