We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
