so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
