I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
