You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
