I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
