apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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