yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
