I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
