KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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