I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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