So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
