Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
