You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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