Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
