Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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