is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
