really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
