He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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