I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
