Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
