Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
