Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
