if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
