Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
